Give In

You know what's funny? Lies. People hate lies. They hate being lied to, but they love lying. Know what's even more funny? Telling the truth. You risk telling the truth because you know it's the only way to be set free and it's the only way to clear things, but not everyone likes hearing the truth. Maybe even, a priest.

Maybe, even someone you thought would understand you. Someone you thought would concentrate on one issue and forget the rest. I know I have my flaws, and I am sorry for whatever wrong behavior I've been doing lately.

All that I have to do now is give in, accept whatever it is that they blame me for, or attack me with. I am not mad at them, even pissed. I have forgiven them... and may God do the rest because I know this is a test. :)

If there's one thing I've learned today, it's keeping calm. Not holding any grudges to anyone.

I want a shirt like this!!!

So it was THEIR graduation practice yesterday and other grad chorva requirements... While I was waiting for Bjie... Me, Joanna, Kerwin, Ciara, (Sarte..kinda) stayed in HRMP. We needed aircon!!

Yup, this is Kerwin's watch. I was attracted because of the color and I really want to have this kind of watch! (Kerwin's not smiling, boo)

I'm so proud of my baby! (this is not graduation yet, it was just their pictorial) He's so cute! I'm a proud girlfriend! Hehehe :"> ♥ aacck I miss him :(

You smell trouble?

Yes, this is what I get for going out for two straight days: Fixing my bags. Choooooores

Voila! Fixed it by brand and size!

You Always Have A Choice

Something I've realized (HAHA YES! Believe me! It took me years to agree with this kind of perception)

Every person should decide on their own. What clothes to wear, what brand of napkin to buy, what brand of cigarette to smoke, and what kind of music to listen to. It is not just for-the-sake-of-deciding-drama because every decision you make reflects your personality and your maturity.

First Scenario
Choices given: Your best friend since high school that you've known inside-out or the college free-loader friend whom you just met because of your best friend in high school.
You chose: The college free-loader friend
Consequences/Stages:
1. Ideal life. You start drinking even when you know you have class, (rather you cut, waste your money into vices, lie to your parents, STEAL, or do any Eddie Guerrero shit)
2. After being used to with the ideal life. Since you already know how to get drunk and get out of your mind, you drink more, take the feeling and splurge into some guy's body, lock yourself in a room and fuck each other (then not remembering anything that happened the next day)
3. Maturity. You bond with Ms. Free-Loader and notice her flaws, tell it to your high school best friend and share each other's observations.
4. Hold-up. You realize how much of a war-freak Ms. Free-Loader is so you get close to her more since you're a pussy.
5. Influence. You start backstabbing your closest friends because of the "observations" of Ms. Free-Loader and even start doubting your high school best friend.
6. Awe. You believe all these stories that Ms. Free-Loader is assuming and you start getting mad, well mostly paranoid and psycho since you know how to get drunk and get out of your mind.
7. You start bombarding public must-reads. You start with faking replies on your phone, pretending that everything's okay (and next thing you know, you're spreading just what happened with that conversation and the rest of the world agrees with you without them knowing the real story - but hey! Congratulations! You had additional hobbies for spreading something rather than your legs and disease). You post on social networking sites (insinuate posts of other people feeling that you're the one being insinuated regarding their posts since you're mostly paranoid and psycho. In other two words, affected and guilty).
8. Hopeless. Last stage. No cure but can be lessened. Try to change your ideal life and head back to number one for complete guidance.

You had a choice.



Second Scenario
Choices given: You kill yourself with assurance that you will really die but oops, you suffered a long time or don't kill yourself and just solve the fucking problem.
You chose: To kill yourself with assurance
Consequences/Stages:
1. Ideal life. You start being crazy in love even if you haven't met the girl in real life that you've been obsessed with.
2. After being used to with the ideal life. You get into arguments or fights. You produce blood and hatred all over you.
3. Maturity. Instead of moving on, you beg to disagree with that fact and you continue living your ideal life.
4. Hold-up. You realize that it's never-ending so you lose yourself, just like Eminem.
5. Influence. You influence yourself between two personalities, and none of them answers your questions back, but still you followed your ideal life.
6. Awe. You believe that this ideal life makes you grow, makes you proud, compensates the anger and the bitterness, makes you someone else, makes you free... Makes you live.
7. You start shaking the people around you. You start pretending to be okay. Maybe that's it. You make your friends and relatives worry about you, especially the one who gave you life.
8. Hopeless. You produce blood. There's a straight line. There's a black light. You may head back to number one for complete guidance but it will be a different one...

You had a choice.


I hope everyone learns their lesson.

Choose what's right before it's too late.

UNBEARABLE

First things first, I am pissed/angry/annoyed. How do you piss me off? Well, here you go...

1. We're part of a barkada, and you don't invite me. You shouldn't whine reasons out like, "You're busy.", "We didn't ask you already since I know there are some times that you're not gonna be allowed.", "We were supposed to ask you but we forgot to." SIMPLY PATHETIC. Well first of all, if you knew I was busy, does that mean you were so busy to call me and tell me you had plans? Second, even though you know that there are cases that I won't be allowed, AT LEAST YOU FUCKING TRIED TO ASK ME (it would mean that you really wanted to hang out with me.) Lastly, how could you forget to ask me? Dude, I'm like what, you're best friend for how many fucking years now! Your brain's gotta work dear.

2. When you think you're all right when you weren't really like that before. That basically explains everything. (Oh and yeah, one more thing... You can't manipulate me. Stop acting like you can be me.) Trying to outsmart me? I don't think you can.

3. When you are an arse. Telling me something that annoys you because I did something very annoying? Wait a minute here brother. If you annoy me, I don't react as pussy as that. Spell UNFAIR up on yo' ass.

4. When the people you expect to listen and take time to ask how are you, don't. That's when you know who your true friends are, and to think they aren't even my kabarkadas.

5. When your name is R**, S** and J**. Self-explanatory. (Oh no wait! When you're a social climber but nobody up the window really likes you! Hahaha)

To calm me down (or you if you're also pissed and have the same reasons and want to add up names in my #5, watch this.)

PUNYETA

Siguro nga eh wala akong permanenteng utak sa mga domains. Eh palipat-lipat ako eh. Ano bang magagawa ko. May sakit na yata ako sa pagiging NPSM. Hindi ba kayo naiirita? Kung kayo naiirita, mas naiirita ako. Sayang rin kasi yung blog na ito eh. HAHA

Natatawa ako kasu nagppunta ako sa Obgyne sa Sta. Rosa nung Wednesday. Ang dami kong natutunan. Seryoso. Parang ayoko na tuloy magka-anak. (parang maraming hindi naniniwala) pero, totoo talaga. Whew.

Wala lang. Kailangan lang ng entry para sa bagong layout.

Anyhoot, regarding my confusion with Ayie and Angel. Maybe I am not going to pick anyone between them. Maybe we're all happy being good friends, and of course, being best friends with Gel. Maybe, the time right now is for me to enjoy being single and enjoy being with my friends.
They're all my friends, but of course the fact that I still love them both won't change a thing, maybe just the kind of love.

The cinnamon of love

"After all, how many ways can one heart be mangled and still be expected to keep beating?" - Bella Swan-Cullen

I don't know. I feel like blogging in English. Err. I'm sorry. There are just a lot of things coming up, and I feel so emotional. I mean, I always do.

Right now, it's different.

What's been happening?

• I've been playing Counter Strike with my block mates and I'm getting addicted, AGAIN.
• I've been going out. Malls specifically. Rob Manila and MOA after class. We don't have Comski anymore. We're finished with our defense, so we're free to go.
  
• I've been having pain. Pain of conscience of my latest-ended-relationship. What conscience? Conscience of not telling him the real reason why I left him. Come to think about it, we could've been 8 months at this very moment.
• I loved New Moon. It's better than Eclipse. Well, I can relate with the last part when Edward was telling Bella the reason why he left her and stuff. If I could just type the whole conversation here. Err. I miss him, honestly. Everything about him. I can't deny the fact that I really do. He changed me a lot. Yep, big effect. He could've been the best guy I've been with. Pride-off.
• To share lines from the last part of New Moon. Here goes:

Edward: I didn't want to do it. It felt like it would kill me to do it, but I knew that if I couldn't convince you that I didn't love you anymore, it would just take you that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that if you thought I'd moved on, so would you.
Bella: After all, how many ways can one heart be mangled and still be expected to keep beating?

------
This is kinda what I wanted to tell him when I left him. Mostly the one in bold phrases. :|

Edward: I owe you an apology. No, of course I owe you much, much more than that. But you have to know that I had no idea. I didn't realize the mess I was leaving behind. I thought it was safe for you here. So safe.......
Exactly. But I never imagined it would be so easy to do! I thought it would be next to impossible---that you would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in your head. I lied, and I'm so sorry---sorry because I hurt you, sorry because it was a worthless effort. Sorry that I couldn't protect you from what I am. I lied to save you, and it didn't work. I'm sorry. But how could you believe me? After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?

Bella: (I didn't answer. I was too shocked to form a rational response.)

Edward: I'm here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the blackest kind of blasphemy......
I need to know why. Is it because I'm too late? Because I've hurt you too much? Because you have moved on, as I meant for you to? That would be. . . quite fair. I won't contest your decision. So don't try to spare my feelings, please---just tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything I've done to you. Can you? .......
I only left you in the first place because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life....
It seemed like leaving was the only way. If I hadn't thought you would be better off, I could have never made myself leave. I'm much too selfish.....
It seems you can't be safe, no matter how many miles I put between us.

That's where I started crying.


Gawd, I miss him.


--

Me, Tere & Aaron went to MOA after Algebra. Went to the department store 'cause Tere had to buy something for her mom. Bedsheets and chairpads. Hung out at Starbucks. We talked about relationships, we talked about.. Mostly guys. How to deal with them and stuff. We talked about Candyman. On our way home, we talked about what happened at Chibby's party. Err. :| Damn that party, full of fun, but full of scandals :)) We're so excited next term, Starbucks everyday! Yheyy! Can't wait :) but I'm gonna miss the block :( and him. :|

No classes tomorrow for us MF1J. Saturday sched :>

ME: Ewan ko Aaron. Parang hindi ko feel mag-boyfriend ngayon. Parang gusto ko muna mag-enjoy. At kita niyo naman enjoy ako diba. Pero kung si *toot*, ewan ko din. Naturn-off ako sa mga ginawa niya, or ginagawa pa. Ang cold ko nga sa kanya kanina eh. Ewan. Sana mapansin niya na cold ako. Para ma-realize naman nya.
Aaron: Ako naman, gustung-gusto ko mag-girlfriend. Gusto ko na ngang mag-asawa at magkaanak!

HAHAHAHA! BENTANG BENTA SI AARON :))

Oh gosh. I don't know. I miss having one, but I think I'm not ready yet. Well, if ever I'm ready, I know who that person is.

And here, to you (you know who you are): Just because I'm falling for someone else, doesn't mean I don't love you anymore. There's a big difference of falling in love and loving someone.

8 months na dapat kami ngayon eh. Ehhhhhh. Ayun. :(

THE TWILIGHT THEN MY NEW MOON

Everything ends for a reason.

Break-ups for instance.

I've had break-ups with two different guys already. The first relationship lasted for two years and six months while the latest one, I must say, seven months. I don't know why do I always have this kind of relationship, a very inconsistent one. Get back together - break up - get back together again - break up again. Several times already. I'm tired of it. Of course, I am part of that problem. Call me immature, call me stupid, at least I didn't lose anything, I've loved, and I never regretted any relationship, and I never will.

My friends keep on telling me to save some for myself. I never listen.

I believe in unconditional love, but last night I have realized that yes, love is really unconditional, but a relationship is really about giving and taking. Well, if the relationship is only working because of one person doing all the effort then, the person is unappreciated... It should be stopped. THAT'S THE BIG DIFFERENCE OF LOVE AND A RELATIONSHIP.

I've also learned from a philosopher, (one of my professors), that feelings are irrational, so meaning LOVE is IRRATIONAL. Rational means seeking for reason. Does love reason? Nope. He also said that "You happen to feel love when you become a better person with someone." I happened to experience that, honestly, but it is opposed. The other party is not becoming a better person because of me, that's why I had to stop it. I am not helping him.

I can't do all the giving.
He can't do all the taking.

I woke up contented, happy and hopeful. Contented because I know what I did is best for him and for me. Happy because I know that even though I broke up with him, I gave the best love that I could ever give him and I am not regretting anything. Hopeful because I know, someday, he will see someone better than me that he can learn to be contented, happy and hopeful because of that person.

You can never feel happiness when you don't feel sadness.

Obviously, you can never feel love when you don't feel pain.

AND I WANNA THANK HIM FOR HURTING ME.
BECAUSE OF THAT HURT, I LEARNED HOW TO LOVE.

A love that's irrational, but a relationship that's rational.

Everything starts with a reason.

Hope for instance.

I also wanna thank these guys for always being there for me when I had to go through all this.

GOD :)

Sten, Gel, Virge, Mel, Miera, Criselle, Lexa, Joanna, Rachelle, Tere, Aaron, Dherick, Kimmie, Eika, Rap, Chibz, Jenny, Cez, Roanna, Sam and Paula.

The lowest point of my life: EMPTINESS

THIS IS HOW EMPTY IT IS.


HAVE TO REST.


EVERYTHING HURTS.

EVERYTHING WILL STILL BE HURTING.


But I am just gonna keep loving.

Love to the fullest

Last week, nanaginip ako. Malamang. Tao ako eh. Nananaginip ako. Amp. Hindi yun yung point ko. Nanaginip akong kasama ko si Ayie. Nasa MOA yata kami nun. Ewan ko, eh mukhang MOA eh, eh di MOA! :)) Tapos may sunod ng sunod sa amin, yun pala kukunin yung bag ko. Basically, hold-up. Buyset. Eh di siyempre binigay ko. Dun na natapos yung panaginip. Siyempre paggising ko kinabahan ako kasi never pa nangyari yun. Yung ma-hold-up ako or manakawan. Whoo.

Kaninang mga 2 ng madaling araw, nanaginip ako ulit. Ayun, kasama ko ulit si Ayie. AT taran! Nasa MOA nanaman kami. Eh di lakad ever kami tapos may sunod nanaman ng sunod sa amin. Siyempre, ako naman binibilisan ko yung lakad ko. Hanggang hindi na talaga tumigil yung buntot. Tapos biglang sasaksakin si Ayie. ERRR! Sabi ko dun sa mananaksak ako na lang. Tapos hindi pumayag si Ayie, siya na lang daw. ERRR talaga :-s Insist ako ng insist na ako na lang, ayaw niya talaga. Sabi niya tumakbo na lang daw ako. Bago ako tumakbo, niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit. Tapos may sinabi ako. Sa ngayon, hindi ko na maalala yung exact words pero yung point naaalala ko. (Ang weird talaga ng panaginip. Syempre, sasaksakin na sya pero parang dun sa mananaksak, ok lang na mag-usap muna kami. Haha.) Ayun. Eh di yung point ng sinabi ko is parang ganito, "Wag mong kakalimutan na nandyan si GOD lagi para sa'yo tsaka mahal na mahal kita." O DIBA. ANG DRAMA. :)) Yung scene after nun, nasa loob na ako ng ambulance tapos nakahiga siya. Nakabalot na siya nung puting kumot. Tapos nung tinignan ko, ang laki nung saksak niya sa likod. :(((((( Siyempre, iyak na ako ng iyak. Minumura ko na yung putang inang driver ng ambulance kasi ang traffic! Ang bagal niya dumiskarte! Hello! Tapos yung katabi ko naman na dapat ginagamot siya, NR amputa! Grabe.

Gumising ako ng mga 2:51 am. Iyak ako ng iyak. Seryoso. As in fucked up tears talaga. Tapos tinext ko siya. Tska na-freak out na rin ako kasi buong gabi hindi siya nagtext. Alam mo naman ako, SI MS. PARANOID. :| Sobrang ginusto kong hindi na ulit matulog! Ayoko nang matulog! Baka matuloy pa yung panaginip ko! WAH. :((

Pero siyempre, hindi dyan nagtatapos ang istorya. Marami rin akong na-realize na bagay. Ewan ko. Ilang beses na ba kami nag-break? Hindi ko alam. Tapos isipin mo yun, dati inaaway away ko siya, para akong gago. Tapos bawing-bawi nung nagkabalikan kami ulit kasi SOBRANG HINDI AKO YUNG DATI. Hindi ko alam kung sinaniban ako eh. I trust him na sobra. I understand him. I'm patient. Ewan ko ba. Then, I'm loving him more each day. Kaya feeling ko, yung panaginip kong yun, it's for me to realize na I should love him to the fullest 'cause I might not know when he'll be gone. Kasi diba, may mga tao na pag nawala yung minamahal nila, dun lang nila mare-realize yung worth nila. Hay talaga. Hanggang pagpasok ko ng school tulala ako eh. Hanggang ngayon tulala parin ako.

Nyetang panaginip. Hindi nakakatuwa! Pero at least, ang dami kong natutunan diba?

At hindi lang yun, na-realize ko sa panaginip na yun, na kaya ko na palang mamatay para sa kanya. AT pag ganun ang nararamdaman ko sa tao, naku, iba na yun. SWEAR. :|

GUMAGANON :D

Yes Yes Show

Badtrip. Walang kwentang Sabado. Akala ko tuloy kami kayla Chibz. Tambay, inom at kung anu-ano pa. Kaninang umaga nga lang ako nagpaalam, buti nga pinayagan ako eh. Kasi pag that day ako nagpapaalam hindi ako pinapayagan. Pero hindi nga kilala ng Mom ko si Chibz that much pero pinayagan parin ako. Ang ginawa lang namin sa Natsci eh parang activity lang. Ginawa namin ni Lexa at Joanna yung first part sa LRC. Tapos bumalik kami sa Complab at itinuloy. Ayun, nagkanda sira nanaman mga ulo namin kung saan kami pupunta. Tapos nagyaya si Aaron na mag-MOA. Oo naman ako kaya lang ipit kasi pag sumama ako sa kanila, maiiwan si Miera kayla Rap, tapos siya lang yung babae. Kumain kami sa Mcdo (as usual) tapos dumeretso na ng UM. Nag-SF mode nanaman sila at ako, Joanna at Miera nag PSP at DS mode. Habang nasa Netopia sila, (Rap, D, Prince, Chibz, Bok, Jolo, Jeff at Jake), mukha kaming mga yaya sa labas. Ayy, hindi naman. Kasi may hawak naman kaming mga gadgets. Anyhoo ayun. DJ Max galore nanaman ako tapos NFS at Cake Mania. Umalis na kami ng mga 11 something. Dapat nga sasali pa ako sa kanila kasi kulang ng isang player. Eh ayoko naman na ako lang ang babae dun. Umuwi na ako. Err. Nakakaasar. Alis na alis ako ngayong araw na ito. Pag-uwi ko sa bahay natulog na lang ako. Gising ako ng mga 6.
Tapos badtrip ba yung surfthechannel kasi ang tagal mag-buffer. Ilang oras na akong nag-aantay. Hindi naman normal yun. Nakipag-chat na lang ako sa mga kabarkada ko. Miss ko na sila. OTH!! Huhuhu :( umuwi pa ako ng maaga, di ko rin pala mapapanuod.
At yung Multiply. Minsan lang ako gumawa ng album na sobrang dami ng pictures ng barkada ko, tumitigil pa.

Namromroblema. Monday - sabi ni Sten mag-cut daw ako kasi magkikita sila ni Mara. UBE ba. Err. Kailangan din ni Sten ang yakap ko. Thursday - Karla's debut. Hmm. 7:30 up to-undefined time. Uhm, may pasok ako the next day. Alas-SHITe ng umaga. Whoo. Biyernes - sana walang pasok kasi malamang puyat ako from Karla. Si Virge nagyaya. Trick or treat kasi kami, as usual, sa AAVA, with my barkada. Tapos the next day baka Binangonan na. Grabe. Hectic naman MY sched. HAHAHA :(

Gulat. Ang daming kwentong nakakagulat. Pero syempre, sikreto na yun. Hindi lang talaga kami makapaniwala na *toot*. Pati yung mga nagsapakan/suntukan. Buti naawat. Tawa pa ako ng tawa akala ko hindi sila. Haha. Yun pala sila nga.
At isa pang nakakagulat, hindi ko alam na magiging close kami ng isang tao sobrang pinagseselosan ko dati at sobrang, alam mo yun, galit ako sa kanya. Pero, ewan ko. Weird talaga ng mundo. Small world. Siya pa nag-keep company sa akin kagabi nung ako'y cry cry ng todo. Haha.

Tapos ayun, kami ulit. Pero feeling ko wala nanaman akong kwentang girlfriend. As usual. Ewan ko ba. Sorry :(

Ang kahulugan ng paglalakad

Naglalakad na amats. Sabi ko hindi na ako iinom. Pero nagyaya si Dherick. Ganito ang nangyari.
D: Inom tayo. Sama ka.
Anje: Ako?!
D: *tungo*
Anje: Sige sama ako pero hindi ako iinom.
Asa pa. Dahil sa dakilang Extra Joss with Red Horse ni Chibz, at bigay na bote ni Lexa. Tatanggi pa ba ako? At ang nangyari? Karma's a bitch. Sabi ko hindi na ako iinom. Ayun. Nung pauwi na ako, natulog ako sa bus. Gumising ako nasa Coastal na. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, "Nyak Coastal pa lang pala. Makatulog nga ulit." Ayun. Wala akong malay.
Conductor: Ma'am, saan po kayo dapat bababa? Nakatulog na po yata kayo. Papunta na po kami sa paradahan ng bus.
Anje: Ahh. Southland. HAHAHAHA. Oo, nakatulog.
Conductor: Lapit lang yun Ma'am. Lakarin niyo lang po.
Hindi ko alam kung Moonwalk yun. Basta. Tinamad ako. Nag-jeep ako. Ang init eh. Ang saya palang mawala. :))

Mga murahan sa paglalakad. Umagang-umaga nagmumurahan na mga tao. Pano, yung bus na sinaskyan ko eh muntikan na masagasaan yung isang nagmomotor.
Nagmomotor: ANG YABANG MO AH!
Bus driver: GAGO KA!
Kanina naman, nung pauwi ako...
May taxi na tumatabi sa may paradahan, eh may lalakeng padaan.
Lalakeng padaan: *tinuro at inangasan*
Taxi driver: (malamang hindi ko nakita kasi nasa loob sya at mabilis yung sinasakyan kong bus.)
Yun lang. Bow.

Naglalakad na limewire. Inumpisahan ito ni Angel. Magaling. May iPod video kasi siya. Take advantage din kasi nga daw may DSL na kami. Kung sa bagay, may point siya. Ayun, nagpapa-download na sa akin ng mga videos at mga kanta. Eh sorry siya hindi Limewire ang gamit ko. Hindi ko ma-gets yung Java shit sa Limewire na yan at hindi ko madownload-download. Next? Si Wrap. Kanina, binigay niya yung flash drive niya sa akin, nagtataka ako kung bakit. Yun pala, papadown-load daw. Sorry din siya, sa aimini ako kumukuha, konti lang tuloy nakuha ko. Haha. Masyado kasing advanced mga songs niya eh. Hindi pa lumalabas. At ang huli? Si Joanna. Nice Joanna. Nagpasend sa akin ng mga La Salle chever. Ayos. Dakilang naglalakad na ako na limewire.

Isa pa. Napapansin ko sa jeep na tamad talaga mga Pilipino. Yung tipong, yung inaabutan ng bayad para ibigay sa driver, ayaw pang kunin. Magpapakiramdaman muna sa mga iba kung kukunin o hindi. Sus. Hindi man lang nahiya. Will it take a lifetime for them just to get that effin coins? GRABE. Ganun na lang, kinakatamaran pa. Tapos reklamo kayo ng reklamo na walang kwenta ang gobyerno at walang pagbabago sa bansa. Eh ultimo kayo, tamad. Ultimo kayo, puro sisi at reklamo kaysa sa inyo mag-umpisa yung pagbabago. Taena. Ako lang ang may karapatang magreklamo dahil may ginagawa akong pagbabago! Haha.

Maikling silip sa aking buhay pag-ibig. Kanina sa Dynarel, may acitivity kami na sa isang short bond, yung left part, de-describe mo yung family mo. Sa right naman, magsusulat ka ng letter sa isang taong nakasakit sa'yo, o pinagalit ka. Basta parang ganun. Tapos sa letter na yun, sasabihin mo yung gusto mong sabihin dun sa taong yun. Kung paano ka niya sinaktan and stuff. Syempre, siya ang nauna kong naisip. Eh di yun. Mangiyak-ngiyak ako kanina nung sinusulat ko. Buti andun mga kaibigan ko.
Natatawa nga ako sa kanya kagabi kasi biglang nag-pm siya tapos sabi niya, "talaga lang ah. hahaha." Ang sinasabi nya pala eh tungkol sa isang bulletin post ko sa Friendster. Yung, 'Do you always tell your feelings or hide them?' Parang ganun, tapos sagot ko, 'YEP' parang ganun din yata. Tapos hindi siya naniniwala. Mali sinagot ko kagabi. Dapat sinagot ko siya ng, "Eh kasi, I just share my feelings to those people who'd listen and understand what I feel. Ayoko mag-share sa mga tao yung parang isip-bata kausap at walang kwenta lang mga sinasabi mo. Mga insensitive."
Diba? Sayang. Hindi ko naisip sabihin yun. Tama naman ako. Kaya wag siyang magtaka bakit hindi ako ganun sa kanya, kasi alam ko na pag may gusto akong sabihin sa kanya, binabalewala niya lang, o ayaw niyang intindihin o nagpapakaisip-bata siya o bitter siya. Ay oo, tama. Balewala na pala ako, so why am I still talking about it?
Tapos nung kinamusta ko si Lola kanina, kinamusta niya rin siya. Kung nagkikita pa raw ba kami and stuff. Sabi ko hindi na. O nagkakatext. Haha.
Tska sa tingin kong okay naman sya at masaya. Alam kong masaya siya palagi pero, ang sinasabi kong kasiyahan niya eh yung ibang taong nagpapasaya sa kanya. Okay na yun. At least diba masaya siya sa kanya kaysa naman sa akin tapos nasasaktan lang? Wag na uy. Magpakasaya na lang siya. Naka-naks. Iba na. Ganun lang yun. Parang nanaginip lang. Okay lang. Sanay na ako. :))
Tama sila, tama na yung pag-aantay ko sa wala.
May mas deserving para sa kanya, AT. HINDI. AKO. YUN. PERIOD.
Tama na ito, wag na muling pag-usapan. Move on horseshit, move on. :)

Akala ko MAIKLING SILIP? Mukhang lahat eh :))

At napasin daw nilang lahat, ang hilig ko daw sa mga immature?! OO NGA! HUWAYYY :( HAHAHA! Mukhang yung susunod, sobra naman sa pagka-mature. Lol. :|

WAAH, tama na Anje. TAMA NA.

Tsi-tsinelasin kitang hayop ka!

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ang daming nagkakandarapa dito.
Oo, alam kong matagal na ito. At wala ako nito.


Una ko itong nakita sa magasin, Pink yun issue ng April 2005. Si Bianca Gonzales yung cover girl. Nagandahan ako, pero hanggang dun na lang. Naisipan ko rin bumili, pero hanggang dun na rin lang.

May isang pangyayari. Isang kwento ng aking kaibigan. Habang nasa Town daw sila, naka-uniform pa sila nun, so malamang, kilala naman ng mga tao ang uniform ng Zobel diba. Anyhoo, pinagtatawanan daw siya at ang mga kasama niya na parang ganito, "Ngek, bakit naka-tsinelas lang sila? Diba mga taga Zobel yan? HAHAHA." aba. Akala mo kung sino. Haha. Hindi nila alam, P900+ ang halaga ng suot nila. Hayup. Pahiya na siguro yung mga yun ngayon.


Pag tinatanong ko yung mga tao bakit gustung-gusto nila ang Havaianas, sinasabi nila malambot daw sa paa. Oo, sang-ayon ako dun.

Pero sa dami na ng gumagamit ngayon, nakakairita nang tignan. Ako kasi yung tipo ng tao na pag masyado nang maka-masa ang isang bagay, pinandidirihan ko na. Tulad lang ng mga banda tapos yung mga kanta nila, yung tipong patok na patok sa kanila, eh para sa akin laos na, laspag na o sobrang nakakasawa nang tignan. In short, posers.

Pwede mo ring sabihin na posibleng poser din ako dahil mas prefer ko ang mga nasa baba, kaya lang, mas konti naman ang mga gumagamit at hindi nakakadiri! Hindi ka mukhang total poser. Haha.

Mas prefer ko pa sa inyo ang Ipanema, Billabong, Roxy, o Quiksilver.

(huwag niyo lang ilalapit ang mga yan sa alaga niyong aso, dahil ang isa kong Billabong eh kinain. Punyemas. Naawa sa akin at may tinira pa, kinain niya lang yung potaenang strap.)
Oo, Ipanema at Billabong lover ako eh. Hindi naman sa ayaw ko ng Roxy pero masyadong FOR GIRLS talaga. Gusto ko yung medyo maangas. Haha.

Ito pa yung nakakatawa, ang dami na ring nagbebenta ng mga fake board shorts, shirts at trucker caps or caps. Gulat nga ako pati jacket meron na eh. Whew. Wadapak. Tapos malamang, ang dami nang posers ang nagsusuot. Kakalungkot. Tsk tsk.

Minsan naman pag nakasakay ako sa bus, tinitignan ko yung mga suot ng mga tao. Ang dami na nga talagang naka-Havaianas. Or Havs, ang tawag namin. Parang ewan ko kung peke mga suot nila, wala kasi sa itsura nilang sosyal sila.

HAVANA. HAWAIANAS. Ang daming eklavoo. Sa mga tiange. Haha. Fake kung fake.

Bottom line: Maging kakaiba ka kahit papaano. Hindi lang sa materyal na bagay, kung hindi pati na rin sa pananaw sa mga materyal na bagay. Maging praktikal. (parang praktikal ako. Haha. Ang gastos ko nga) Pero, I mean, hindi porkit yun yung uso, game ka na. Ako, binibili ko yun Ipanema at Billabong kasi quality ang habol ko, hindi dun sa popularidad ng footwear na yun. Tska ayoko talaga yung madami nang gumagamit! Nakakadiri! Haha (parang sinabi ko na rin yan kanina.)

Be unique. Be Practical. Be nondo. :| Be Happy. Sa Jollibee. :))